hendelar

sometimes you just gotta' row

stale herbs and red underwear

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i once knew someone who holds to the idea that she never wants to “discard” people she’s been in a relationship with once the relationship has transitioned i.e. after it’s over. it seems this would result in a social circle that includes an inordinate number of people with whom there had been intimate involvement. dinner with friends could take on rather peculiar group dynamics. gotta figure there’s going to be a certain oddity in the energy. it’s one thing to run into an ex at a wedding but choosing to collect them into the regular social calendar is like having an 800 pound gorilla as a permanent house-guest. yes, each to his own.

life has certain thresholds and choosing to exceed naturally-occurring limitations becomes an effort of itself. it’s easy to be busy for ten hours every day, seven days a week but, maintaining the resulting calendar would become a major task that takes away from the time available to do other things. can’t blow and suck at the same time. it’s difficult to let someone pass through a door with six others and their baggage lingering in the hallway.

i’ve had a tendency to collect stuff. often carefully selected, but still, just stuff. a large part of this book-writing sojourn was about letting go of the attachment to material objects and, where possible, sell what i had for cash. the money would provide financial support for the time needed to finish the book. while i’ve sold off a lot of the stuff, i’ve yet to reach a point where i can say that i’m traveling light.

i think that it’s more about the notion of holding on than it is about the amount that is being held on to. a few things remain to be sold plus there’s an additional new thing or two. in spite of efforts to sell these things, they’re still around and i can’t help but think there’s more to it than meets the eye. sure, i’ve got listings complete with pictures that have been running in the “right” media for months now. what’s needed might be for me to let go of my attachment to these items. there is something about authenticity of intent that transfers through to the things we do and i don’t think authenticity can be faked for long.

during New Year celebrations i came across a supply of herbs that were several years past the expiry date, which i’d chosen to keep around just in case. then, there was this pair of noteworthy underwear in a drawer; there was a woman, valentine day…

i’d been holding on to these things for no real benefit. additions to the collection. in the spirit of the Yule, i’ve released this stuff to its next incarnation. it is time for the other things to go too and i’m re-listing them with that thought in mind.

rock-climbers will tell you that effective movement on the wall is achieved more by letting go than holding on. it’s impossible to take the next step while clinging to the previous one.

glh

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Written by glh

January 3, 2011 at 15:26

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